Well Wishes

Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and good day to all.  I hope everyone is well.

I’m going to be an aunt!  I’m so excited.  My brother and his wife announced that they are expecting.  This was actually one of those planned pregnancies, so they’re ecstatic.  Very cute.  They both showed up sick, then we had 35 for Christmas and all the little kids were sick, and so now everyone in the house is sick…unbelievable.  Rrr.

I’ve been using.  Today is day 1 of getting back on track though.  I have a counseling session on Thursday, and I’m a little embarrassed about the whole hospital shindig, but we will see how it goes.  I really think 2008 will be a good year. 

Grr, The Man!

This is the all-too-common thing about cops that I can’t stand. 

I went into work today, and I thought I was being diligent, working on a Saturday and all.  I cranked out an enormous pile of work, then walked up to the mailbox to get it in before noon.  While I was standing there on the sidewalk, minding my own business and dropping my load of letters in, a cop turned down the street and pulled up right next to me.  He just stared at me with this hard-nosed, intimidating look while I double-checked that all the letters were stamped and dropped them in.  Maybe some people would have made a move to talk to him or acknowledge his presence, but I had no obligation to break the ice, so I just continued about my business and started to walk back to my building.

It’s a ways from the mailbox to the building.  He started creeping behind me and following me.  The roads are snow-packed, so his tires were making this annoying crunching sound.  What the fuck?  In a rare gesture of upstanding behavior, I can say that I was doing nothing wrong.  Either talk to me or don’t, but for heaven’s sake, don’t jar my brain with crunching snow on a Saturday morning. 

When I got to back the parking lot, he turned in.  He crept behind me until I was in the door.  I stood inside a minute and watched him, thankful that the door requires a code to get in.  He pulled up behind my car, ran my plates, then drove back to where the parking lot meets the street.  When I stopped watching him, he was still just sitting there, waiting.  My car is the only one in the lot, and I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m working.  So why doesn’t he go find something better to do?

I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to know that your tax dollars (if you pay any) are going to such lackadaisical crime fighting.  Keep up the good work, Lakewood PD.

88 Days Until St. Patrick’s Day!

                  

              Woohoo!

Stupid Stupid STupid

Fuck…I relapsed tonight.  Sorry for the language. I might regret it in the morning, at which time I’ll surely hit the edit button, but for now, I’m content wearing out my ‘backspace’ button and choosing to pretend no one will care about my choice of language.  I’m pretending a lot of things.  Like this was a good thing for me.  It occured me tonight (prior to using)…I have been on what is essentially one of the most powerful painkillers known to man for the better part of 29 months.  I don’t typically think of it in those terms, but honestly, who passes up an opportunity like that?

I do still have good intentions.  I used from the stash I still had sitting around, which had been tempting me to no end.  In a crudely honest moment, I know I planned on using it as a safety net when things got a little too scary.  Guess what, tonight was that night.  I currently have no intent to keep using once it’s gone.  Is that possible?  Hell yes it is.  Am I capable of it?  (Do I hear Jaws music playing in the background?)

I do want to apologize.  When I started this blog, I thought, hell yes…like a soul on earth will ever read this shit!…and then I started getting to know the wonderful people who do actually stop by.  Some of you are struggling with your own addictions, some of you steer clear of drugs for all the right reasons, and some of you are in between.  To everyone, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.  Tomorrow is a new day for all of us….

I Hate Cars

I’m a neat freak, but only regarding things I care about.  I keep my apartment spotless by the most rigid standards.  However, I don’t particularly like cars.  I don’t like driving them; I don’t like America’s dependence on them; I don’t like how much money is required to keep them legal; and I loathe how much physical space and natural resources they consume.  Consequently, I haven’t cleaned my car in ages.  It’s a complete mess.  I stopped cleaning the outside a couple of years ago, because I take issue with how much car washes cost and the fact that they’re not good for the environment.  I also stopped cleaning the inside because……I have no idea why.  I just don’t like cars.  I am grateful to have one, but sometimes I think breaking my dependence on private transportation would be a good thing.  Then I ponder how western America underwent massive expansion at the same time the automobile did the same, and cities were designed around the automobile rather than public transportation.  What a gigantic mistake that was.  I would be a wreck without my car.  (Um…no pun intended.) 

My favorite newspaper just had an article about how it’s nearly impossible to hail a cab in Denver.  My experience has consistently been that you have to call a cab company, then wait typically 45+ minutes for one to show up.  If it’s a Friday or Saturday night, then forget it.  In a fantastic show of irony, a national taxi convention was just held at our convention center in the heart of downtown, and people who attended couldn’t get cabs afterward.  Get this…our mayor went down to personally give a few of them a lift after they had been stranded for something like two hours and called the mayor’s office to complain.

Our downtown bus service shuts down at 1:50 AM.  Bars close at 2:00 AM.  How shameless is that?  DUIs generate a lot of money for the state.  Hmm….