Grr, The Man!

This is the all-too-common thing about cops that I can’t stand. 

I went into work today, and I thought I was being diligent, working on a Saturday and all.  I cranked out an enormous pile of work, then walked up to the mailbox to get it in before noon.  While I was standing there on the sidewalk, minding my own business and dropping my load of letters in, a cop turned down the street and pulled up right next to me.  He just stared at me with this hard-nosed, intimidating look while I double-checked that all the letters were stamped and dropped them in.  Maybe some people would have made a move to talk to him or acknowledge his presence, but I had no obligation to break the ice, so I just continued about my business and started to walk back to my building.

It’s a ways from the mailbox to the building.  He started creeping behind me and following me.  The roads are snow-packed, so his tires were making this annoying crunching sound.  What the fuck?  In a rare gesture of upstanding behavior, I can say that I was doing nothing wrong.  Either talk to me or don’t, but for heaven’s sake, don’t jar my brain with crunching snow on a Saturday morning. 

When I got to back the parking lot, he turned in.  He crept behind me until I was in the door.  I stood inside a minute and watched him, thankful that the door requires a code to get in.  He pulled up behind my car, ran my plates, then drove back to where the parking lot meets the street.  When I stopped watching him, he was still just sitting there, waiting.  My car is the only one in the lot, and I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m working.  So why doesn’t he go find something better to do?

I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to know that your tax dollars (if you pay any) are going to such lackadaisical crime fighting.  Keep up the good work, Lakewood PD.



Filed under Beautiful World

13 responses to “Grr, The Man!

  1. They (the ubiquitous) give Officers training in psychological posturing so as to always seem to be in charge of whatever the situation is. Also in recognising facial response and body language for assessment of threat and attitude change. Fools ! All they need do is go cop a sizeable amount in a shady neighborhood at night. That right there’ll teach yer ass!!

  2. Kevin Olsen

    I’ve always assumed you’re an attractive young lady. So maybe he was just lonely and looking for a date.

    True, it’s creepier when a cop does it, but there are worse displays of affection. :-)

  3. Yeah, cops. I was just on my way from my current couch-surf digs to the grocery store — in the couch owner’s car. Stopped by the 7-11 for a can of beer. For the ride. I paused briefly before I opened it, and wondered if there would be any sobriety check-points on account of the holidays. While I tooled along in this unregistered, uninsured car with no rear bumper & a cracked windshield.

    I opened my beer. Raised it to my lips. When all of the sudden YIKES!! I turned the corner and sure enough, a thousand blue lights flashed before my eyes. Right in the same spot the fuckers always have their roadblock…

    …But I guess it’s my lucky night, because not one of the 10 or 15 cops hanging around there noticed when I hit the brakes & pulled a U-turn & tooled briskly off in the opposite direction, just a few feet in front of them…

    …open container intact.

  4. Mike…you wouldn’t happen to know anything about being a slightly crazy, hedonistic Gonzo journalist named Raoul in a former life, would you?

  5. Isn’t it amazing how they do that? Make you feel like you’ve done something wrong? I hate that. Seriously? There are much more important things going on in this city.

  6. j.p. schilling

    Hey rhea!

    I’d no longer take this kind of sh*t from a cop to a celebrity! I mean, this mofo’ is breaking the law just by staring at you for the length of time he did. Cops are humans too, I understand; however, I’ve yet to meet even one that has all their oars in the water.

    Next time…and there will be a next time—get license plate number of his/her vehicle and time of day or night. Then and without haste, ring the watch commander. Period. Report em’ or someone’s going to end up being a victim. Cheers! And all the prosperity to you for 2008!

    Warmest regards,

    Onemorecup aka jps

  7. Thanks j.p. It doesn’t really do society a service if everyone is afraid of cops. They’re supposed to be the people who help us if we need it, but no one trusts them. My parents grew up when law enforcement wasn’t feared. If you got pulled over, it might have just been because the cop wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. I can’t even imagine that. Things were a lot different though. The BA limit for driving was .15 (i.e. fairly smashed), and even if you got pulled over as an underage drunk driver, they basically just said, “Go home.” At some point, cops became these huge bullies with a lot of potential to use their power to intimidate and harass people. Law enforcement attracts shady powermongers along with upright people. Scary prospect.

  8. onemorecup

    hiya rhea!

    Okay, I’m definitely in on this issue: Cops are people too, albeit, power-mongering, sh*t for brains, just this side of predators themselves. I’m truly sorry if I am offending anyone here; but, let’s face it, law enforcement (LE) is plain and simple NOT what it used to be.

    Drew Peterson and his merry band of law breaking cops, and of course we have such a phenomenon that films such as, ‘Thin Blue Line’ and so many others deal with the problem of police corruption within various departments.

    As for me, when and where I grew up, if one was pulled over, by the time the cop arrived at your window—driver’s hands must be placed on the dashboard or in plain sight and better have the license out or at the very least, one’s wallet. If you didn’t a person had to ask the cop: ‘May I get my wallet out of my pocket?’

    All this was predicated upon city/county ordinance. But by far the worst for me is in the mere fact that I have a friend who works at a dry cleaners and who does launder cop uniforms—the stories she has told me make me almost puke! Too many stories about ‘evidence lockers’ coming up short etc., etc.

    One day I write you about how the name “Service Station” came into existence. Cheers! Stay healthy.
    OMC aka jp

  9. ….back in the hippie days I happened upon a postage stamp size tab of paper which was loaded with an Owsley concoction-and since it was easy to lose,small as it is and all…well,I swallowed it.
    About an hour went by and I was walking up the main drag of this university city I live in-then it was quite a haven for hippies (home of the Gainesville green-and Micanopy madness,and Tom Petty-whom I’ve shared both once a long time ago…ahhh,but the story!!) and something about the postage stamp size piece of paper I had swallowed so not to lose it had begun to make the traffic lights quite interesting…so I walking down the main drag minding my own mind and digging the lights.
    Those cop car tires crunch in snow and in gravel…that same crunch sound-it sounded so familier when you described it.
    I turned around and there is this patrol car…he waved me over and motioned for me to get in.
    Now I’m tripping…in the front seat of a cop car.
    What ever reason he had-he insisted on driving me home.
    Home then was in an attic on 4th Ave SE…problem was,the other people living there did’nt know I did. It was kind of my secret…but also,it worked because most of them were students and had no idea I was coming and going-sometimes eating a slice of thier pizzas or something…the access to the attic was in the kitchen. It was all so convienient.
    Ahhh….the cop and tripping hippie in his front seat!
    I relucantly gave him directions-tried to think-and get him to take me somewhere else ,but that was a challenge…so-up to the house we drove.
    I tried to get out and say goodbye and thanks for the lift…but the copper puts his spot light on and shines it like his own personal daylight onto the kitchen door.
    The students I shared my abode with-or…well,they all were by this time looking out the kitchen window at the sunrise coming from on the cop cars hood-I stood at the door and waved….dang if the cop did’nt sit there and shine that bright light.
    I had no other choice-I went in the kitchen to face my new roomates…they all reacted with a gasp-one put his hands up in the air. The cop finally backed out.
    I went out right away and sat in some huge shrubs behind the house….I nearly laughed my ass off-you should’ve seen the looks thier faces when I came in that door. It was too much.
    That sound…when you described that cop cars tires in the snow it just brought that back….1970 one more night!
    Thanks,and sorry that you are being hasseled so…

  10. Jay, your story has my side in stitches. Did you continue to share your abode with your unacquainted roommates? I’m impressed that you had your head about you so well. Alas, when I swallow little pieces of paper to keep from losing them, I generally don’t present myself so cogently.

    Hope you’re doing well.

  11. …well,there was a real-room mate named Tony. I kind of thought of him as the jerk of the bunch-but only from what I could hear from my place in the attic. Actually,I think he was the major renter and the others were chipping in…who knows,however-I had the attic fairly well neated up for my needs.A cot and there were crates and those had books-so,the whole arrangement was fairly easy because it was only really meant for being up there to sleep. It was great-this is Florida and this attic had a huge fan to keep the attic cool along with the house…so,it was right on.
    Well…I was up there one afternoon reading. I thought every one was at class,the university was only two blocks away. It was in those days when no one locked a darn thing and it all sort of began when I would scoot in and use the shower while an actual room mate had invited me once or twice and then I discovered the attic while snooping for a snack…this was the days of much munchies…and I discovered the attic access which was from the kitchen-right across from the back door…these still are the days of munchies…hmmm,where was I ?? oh…Tony!
    I’m laying there one afternoon having a read and all of a sudden the door down below opens and someone comes up the stairs.
    It was Tony-he was one of those hippie guys that really looked like bozo because of the way thier hair grew-and Tony looked like he had botox lips,but…the 70’s it must of been he just had an odd mouth.
    So there he is and he says “what are you doing here?”
    and I said ” I live here” (because thats all that came to mind-and hey,it’d been about six months by then)
    so he says…”not no more”!!
    And that was the end of it.
    So you really know I’m not a cadillac kind of a screw ball that just assumes quarters….the room mate I mentioned that had invited me-he kind of helped me in and out sometimes….so it was’nt a pure squatter deal.
    The blotters of little postage stamp size papers?? ha,that ol’Owlsley…had a mix!!
    hmmm…how I kept a straight face for that cop is unknown to me. I guess I was grinning so hard from the acid my mouth was to stiff to let me on to any one as stupid as a southern cop who could’ve been wearing those mirrored sunglasses-even at night!
    They were kind of slow down here back then when the only qualification was to be kin to Bubba any body and know how to drive a Hemi while wearing mirrored sunglasses 24/7….one night I had run out of gas and I hiked my way to a service station-which was closed-so I was sitting there on the newspaper boxes pondering my existance right then,and this patrol car drives up with that prison camp spot light on his fender right in my face and he drives up (its midnight thirty…and I could see my reflection in his mirrored sunglasses) and the deputy says….”hey”
    So…I said “hey”.
    And he goes….”boy…am I going the right way here?”
    (I had no clue what he meant by that)
    So…I said ” Sure”!!!
    Then the deputy looks at me really firm as if I might just be lying to him and wanted me to know I’d pay the price for that…and off he drove.
    To this moment I have no idea if he was going the right way.
    I sat at that gas station until 6 A/M the next morning…never saw him again!
    You can have such fun with a policeman around!!

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