I Hate Cars

I’m a neat freak, but only regarding things I care about.  I keep my apartment spotless by the most rigid standards.  However, I don’t particularly like cars.  I don’t like driving them; I don’t like America’s dependence on them; I don’t like how much money is required to keep them legal; and I loathe how much physical space and natural resources they consume.  Consequently, I haven’t cleaned my car in ages.  It’s a complete mess.  I stopped cleaning the outside a couple of years ago, because I take issue with how much car washes cost and the fact that they’re not good for the environment.  I also stopped cleaning the inside because……I have no idea why.  I just don’t like cars.  I am grateful to have one, but sometimes I think breaking my dependence on private transportation would be a good thing.  Then I ponder how western America underwent massive expansion at the same time the automobile did the same, and cities were designed around the automobile rather than public transportation.  What a gigantic mistake that was.  I would be a wreck without my car.  (Um…no pun intended.) 

My favorite newspaper just had an article about how it’s nearly impossible to hail a cab in Denver.  My experience has consistently been that you have to call a cab company, then wait typically 45+ minutes for one to show up.  If it’s a Friday or Saturday night, then forget it.  In a fantastic show of irony, a national taxi convention was just held at our convention center in the heart of downtown, and people who attended couldn’t get cabs afterward.  Get this…our mayor went down to personally give a few of them a lift after they had been stranded for something like two hours and called the mayor’s office to complain.

Our downtown bus service shuts down at 1:50 AM.  Bars close at 2:00 AM.  How shameless is that?  DUIs generate a lot of money for the state.  Hmm….

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We All Started Out Small…

My parents are good people, but they were never particularly attuned to remembering details.  I always wanted to know more about my childhood.  I had a million questions, like what was my first word, or what other names did they consider for me?  I have this memory of when my mom told me I could no longer have bottles…ouch.  A lot of tears were shed that night.  I don’t know how old I was, but I was crawling around and lugging my big stuffed rabbit by its ears with my favorite bear bottle in hand.  (That’s bear bottle…not beer bottle.)

I’m always curious to learn about other people.  For anyone who doesn’t mind sharing, I would love to learn more about you.  What was your first word, or favorite food, or favorite toy or story?  What was your first step like?  Did you have any major injuries?  Did your mom describe what it was like to be pregnant or give birth to you?  Do you remember transitioning from a crib to a bed, or going to school for the first time? …etc.

Always greatly appreciated.

Crayon Love

I need a healthy distraction, so I decided to come on here and write. 

    

My first career aspiration was to name Crayola crayons (my second was to name paint chips).  I poured over my crayon box and memorized the names of each one.  I used to line up all 64 in order of my favorites (a scoring system based on color, name, and how well the wax went on paper…not all crayons were created equally, you see).  Midnight blue was a superior color.  It went on the paper exceptionally well, and the name was evocative of mysterious things like space and night.  Cornflower was disappointing because it never went on the paper very well…no matter how much pressure was applied, it only succeeded in creating a semi-transluscent waxy smudge on the paper without delivering the delicate blue that it promised.  Shamrock is my current favorite.

Once at a party, I brought up the subject of crayons.  Someone laughed and said, “Honestly, who still cares about crayons?”  My friend Ryan and I both said we did.  I asked if he had a favorite one, and he said yes.  I said, “Me too!”  We got into a “you tell me yours first” match, so we agreed that on the count of three, we would both say our favorite.  We counted to three and shouted in unison, “Macaroni and cheese!”  I thought I had found my soulmate.

Crayons have come a long way.  In 1903, there were 8 colors.  Crayola boxes have housed over 400 colors.  There are currently 120.  The four newest are inch worm, jazzberry jam, mango tango, and wild blue yonder.  The four most recently retired are blizzard blue (I will miss it), magic mint, mulberry (another sad loss), and teal blue.  Americans choose blue most often as their favorite, followed by cerulean and purple heart.

Did you know crayons have a political history?  ‘Prussian blue’ became ‘midnight blue’ in 1958; ‘flesh’ became ‘peach’ in 1962 (Civil Rights movement); and ‘Indian red’ became ‘chestnut’ in 1999.  My guess is that the days for ‘beaver’ are limited, but maybe that reveals my dirty mind.

Cool crayon facts: The glue that binds the paper to the crayon is simply cornstarch and water, since kids have a tendency to eat such things.  The job of placing paper on crayons used to go to farmers during winter months to supplement their income.  The smell of a crayon is the third most recognizable smell (after coffee and peanut butter).

Cheers to crayons, color, and the innocence of childhood.

Chip of Paint Off the Old Block

 

This was a chip off a wall from old Belmont Art Park in L.A. this year.  It is about 1 cm thick, and there are around 150-200 layers of paint.  Cool, huh?  So many different ideas of what makes a wall look good.

Guitar Hero

 

I’m not one for video games, but this one is crazy addictive.  I can’t stop playing it.  I resented that fact for a while, but then I got to ‘hard’ last night, and it finally turned into something cool.  Fun!  I was at a snowboard competition this weekend, and they had a Guitar Hero tent set up with two massive giant screens where competitions raged day and night.  I stumbled on parties all weekend that had their own Guitar Hero battles raging.  I can’t believe the craze this game has generated, but I’m thoroughly guilty of spending an unjustifiable amount of free time on it.  Maybe it’s because I no longer have guitars of my own :-( and it feels great to once again be playing rock legend solos…although now it’s “green red yellow” rather than “C E G”.  Oh well.  It’s a decent substitute, and entirely clean fun.

Sex and the City…and Me?

 

Even if they don’t entirely realize it, the ultimate question of so many American females is, which Sex and the City character am I?  A close second question on female minds is, if I could have the wardrobe of any Sex and the City character, which wardrobe would I choose?

I just can’t decide.  It’s not for lack of contemplation.  I think about it every time I watch an episode.  Truthfully, I would love to be any of the characters.  The frustrating fact is, I don’t fit any of them.  Each character takes on a fascinating and unique outlet of human behavior and thought.  Put them together, and you’ve arguably come up with the quintessential (and unattainable) female.  Then again, the thought of their flaws all rolled up into one woman is a little intimidating…yikes!  But here’s where I see myself coming up short….

Miranda is too intelligent, cynical, and driven for me to aspire to.  Carrie is too perfect, accomplished in all fields, and Bohemian (not to mention her wardrobe!!!).  Samantha is too liberated, sassy, and powerful.  Charlotte is too sweet, gentle, and moral.  Plus they all have obscene amounts of money, clothes, and shoes shoes shoes.  Last night one of my favorite episodes aired.  After Carrie’s shoes go missing at a party where the wife/mommy hostess could care less, Carrie registers at Manolo Blahnik for the $485 shoes that went missing, and sends a single card to the hostess announcing that she’s getting married to herself, and is registered at the shoe shop for the single pair of shoes.  Divine!!

Oreo Personality Test

This is serious psychology.  Truly.  A friend sent it to me a while ago, and I finally have a place to share it (with a few minor alterations of my own).  ——–>

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreo’s:

• The whole thing all at once.
• One slow bite at a time.
• Slow, methodical nibbles, perhaps examining the results of each bite afterward.  
• In little nervous nibbles.  
• Dunked in some liquid. [This was me, by the way.  100% accurate.] 
• Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
• Twisted apart, the inside, then toss the cookie.  
• Just the cookie.  Not the inside.
• I just like to lick them, not eat them.
• I don’t have a favorite way because I don’t like Oreos.

Your Personality:

The whole thing
You consume life with abandon.  You are fun to be with, exciting, and carefree, with some hint of recklessness.  You are totally irresponsible.  You should never be trusted with anyone’s children.

One bite at a time
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreo’s this very same way.  Just like them, you lack imagination and inspiration.  That’s ok, not to worry.  You’re normal. 

Slow and Methodical
You follow the rules.  You’re exceedingly tidy and orderly.  You’re very meticulous in every detail of every thing you do, to the point of being anal-retentive and irritating to others around you.  Stay out of the fast lane if you’re only going to go the speed limit.

Nervous Nibbles
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly.  You always have a million things to do, and never enough time to do them.  Mental breakdowns and hospitalizations run in your family.  Valium would likely do you good.

Dunked
Everyone likes you because you’re upbeat.  You are the life of the party, but you also crash parties and make everyone miserable.  You tend to sugarcoat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones.  You are in total denial about the shambles you call your life.  You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie
You have a highly curious nature.  You take pleasure in breaking things open to find out how they work, but you are usually unable to put them back together, so you destroy the evidence of your activities and feign ignorance.  You deny involvement whenever anything goes wrong.  You are a compulsive liar.  You exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

Twisted apart, the inside, then toss the cookie
You are good at business.  You take risks that pay off.  You also take what you want of things and throw the rest away, including people and matters of truth.  You are greedy, selfish, just plain mean, and apathetic.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  That’s ok though, because you got yours, and you don’t care.

Just the cookie, not the inside
You enjoy pain, both giving and receiving.  This is called sado-masochism.

I just like to lick them, not eat them
Seek psychiatric help immediately.  Stay away from small furry animals.

I don’t have a favorite way because I don’t like Oreos
You likely come from an affluent family.  You were spoiled and given too much attention as a child.  You wear high-end fashion, and eat at only the most esteemed restaurants. You are particular and fussy about everything you buy, own, wear, or eat. Things have to be just right.  There’s just no pleasing you.  You like to be pampered.  You are a prima donna, and you annoy everyone around you.